(2010, USA, Devin Hamilton) - ***
On first visiting Shut Up and Kiss Me!, it has all the makings of a low budget, naff gay film. Poor camera work and slightly wooden acting. However, if you can see beyond this, this film turns into a little sweet delight.
It captures the story of Ben, a 30 something single gay guy as he embraces the dating world. He goes from date to date unsuccessfully until he meets Grey, a guy who has a philosophical different opinion of monogamy from him.
The film goes out of its way to make Ben a straight guy who just happens to date men. All his friends are straight and he believes in monogamy, while Grey cannot commit in a relationship. I struggle to see how characters can be so black and white. I would imagine that Ben will have some gay friends and the element of Ben's innocence makes his character a bit 2-D.
Despite its amateur film production and its simplistic story line, Shut Up and Kiss Me is quite a sweet story which covers some of the specific issues gay men find when dating. At 78 minutes long it is the perfect length.
Definitely worth a go!
Despite the bad acting, the start of Into the Lion's Den was extremely promising. A road trip film with three gay guys on a voyage to Manhattan. The complexities of gay men were evident: a guy who has just found out he is HIV positive, a rich guy who wants to experience life and a slightly older guy who is a man whore. I thought this film would be about them finding themselves. Stereotypical and unoriginal, yes, but I thought this had potential. How I was wrong!
The guys end up in this dodgy straight bar. At this point the film goes AWOL and completely loses it and turns into a barmy horror film where the guys are tortured and raped by a straight couple. I really did not know why they bothered at this point. The only redeeming feature was the beautiful Ronnie Kroell and that was purely for the eye candy.
(2012, Canada, Xavier Dolan) - ** Laurence Anyways is the third film by the young prodical gay director Xavier Dolan. I have to say this is by far his weakest. This is FAR too long than it needs to be (2 and a half hours) and a little self indulgent. It deals with the issue of how a relationship changes when one admits that they want to change their gender identity. The first half captures the story extremley well and maybe he should have stopped there but throughout the film there are flashes of brilliance in the newly typical style of Xavier Dolan.
I am actually going to focus on Dolan more than this film because I am so inspired by his direction. In case you have not heard of him, he has two other films: I Killed My Mother and Heartbeats and he is only 24 (bastard). He manages to capture the traditional French cinema (he is from Quebec) with his own version of artistic brilliance. Small moments of colour and sound contrast well with typical continental picture and he delivers queer cinema in a completely unique way while maintaining the accessibility of his features. He manages to stay clear of any Pedro Almodovar comparisons as his films are 'gay' rather than 'camp'
I cannot rate him high enough. If you compare him to where Almodovar was at the same point of his career he could have an amazing future. I am hoping Laurencce Anyways is a small blip.
A few years ago I had a drunken one night stand with a very minor London gay celebrity (if you could call him one). We met in a club and had a great time and tried to have sex when we got back to his but we were so wasted it did not really work. I thought at the time, 'great, we can be good friends'. He thought differently and wanted to start dating. He is a lovely, attractive guy but I just do not think the chemistry was right. I told him I thought we would be good friends and he went mad and lost contact.
A few months ago, he added me on Facebook again and we started chatting again. Unfortunately, after a period of getting on well, he started to come on strongly again and left the ball in my court to sort out a date. Although he could be a great mate, I think he only wants a relationship with me which suggests that friendship is off the table.
I do not know if it is something I do but sometimes I struggle to turn one night stands or gay guys I meet into friendships and it is especially frustrating if there is a bit of banter. It is a shame that some gay men can get like this but I suppose it might be an insecurity. Friendship is almost always better over a relationship that is not quite right.
There are a number of cliches in any average gay film, including:
the nervousness of browsing the gay mags in a newsagents
unrequited love
come out to their best female friend who confesses her love for him
the father reacts angrily
Sasha had this all. Sasha, the older son of a Montenegro family who moved to Germany 20 years ago as a result of the Yugoslav conflicts, is madly in love with his piano teacher as he prepares for an audition. He admits best friend Jiou, from a Chinese family, of his feelings. Following news that his teacher is leaving for Vienna, he falls apart and his sexuality is exposed to his family.
What was good about this film was the story of two different 'alien' families. I loved the Montenegro family and their reminiscing about their native country. In particular, I love the fact the parents want to give their children their full chance to reach their potential having lost their opportunity. Although growing up being gay can be one of the worst periods of a gay boy's life but the gay angst ridden moments have been done a million times in the same way. I would have been more interested if the story had taken place in Montenegro and showed homophobia in that society.
Montenegro are improving their legislative record on LGBT rights in order to help with EU membership but homophobia is still entrenched within their culture. Even so, I think the family would had been 'Germanised' enough to be a little more accepting than they were.
I had a wonderful weekend seeing old friends and visiting old haunts. I decided to try out Vauxhall again as I had not been there for years. For those not familiar with London,Vauxhall has become the second gay village of London and has a reputation of hadcore clubbing with venues like Fire and their 24 hour parties.
I decided to go to the historic Royal Vauxhall Tavern (RVT) on Sunday afternoon with their long running S.L.A.G.S. Chillout. This is an afternoon of party with entertainment (usually a drag show). This is always a fun event and their no attitude policy makes the venue a friendly place. I followed this up with a trip to a local sauna - which was more to relax than have sex.
It was a fun afternoon, but I had to admit something just was not right. I just felt I am at a point where I have moved on from all of this. Yes, I feel slightly hung over today and yes, I spent money I do not really have, but I think I am at a point in my life where I am passed this. It felt like an old routine. I am glad I went just so I can confirm that this will probably be my last time hardcore clubbing. I can look back at this blog post and remind myself every time I start wondering what it is like.
Thanks for the memories Vauxhall, but I think my clubbing days are over.
(2012, USA, Casper Andreas) ** Pretty boy Adam (Matthew Lewindski) arrives in Los Angeles from New York to rescue his struggling career as an actor. As he tries to create a career for himself, he racks up a lot of debt with his also failed actress friend Candy. In desperate need for cash, he tries his hand at a number of jobs and ends up working as an office assistant at a gay porn studio. With debts continuing piling up, he decides to use his pretty boy looks in porn films as well as turning to escorting. Can he save himself? Will someone save him?
Some of Going to LA LA Land was mildly enjoyable, but the film suffered from one major flaw: the entire premise of the story. The main character was from New York but the film made out as if a whole new world of drugs and sex had opened up to him. I have never been to the USA but I imagine an openly gay, pretty boy from New York may have been around people who do drugs or rent boys before. Even if he had not taken part, he would have made a conscious decision not to do so. So I do not know why the film makes out he is innocent where a whole new world for him the minute he moved to LA.
In addition to this, the film makes the mistake of making Adam good until he delves into pornography. I hate such a two dimensional perspective as interesting characters are ones whose good points and flaws are recognised.
This is a bog standard 'gay independent' film where the eye candy is high and the acting and content is low. This film is about 20 minutes too long and plays out like a daytime TV movie with its level of melodrama. The film spends way too long with Adam getting further and further into debt, so the rest of the story is squashed in at the end.
Some of the acting and characters were dire. I hated the best friend Candy in particular, as the OTT 'fag hag'. Also Nick, (played by the director), was irritating as the drug addict who gets Adam into the business.
Scenes like when Adam starts losing it and downs red wine (WTF?) as if it was strong vodka let this film down a lot. Dramatic scenes like this were actually comical throughout the film. There were small nuggets of entertainment but not really worth the time you invest in it.
If you like preppy muscle boys getting their clothes off, watch this. Otherwise avoid.
Finally! I have found a lovely flat in South East London which I move in tomorrow. It has lovely views of a dock, in Zone 2, walking distance to a tube and easy to get to both work and central London. Could not be happier.
On the announcement of the news on Facebook, my close friends were excited for my return. However, a few friends of friends responded with messages asking why I was living so far out of central London.
Now, for those who have never lived in London, there are pockets of gay ghettoes. North London is stereotypically for couple with money and Shoreditch is for the skinny jeans wearing, 'arty' types. For my 'sub culture' - i.e. 30s muscle/bear type not on a great income, South London is the place to be.
In particular, anywhere on the Northern Line between Kennington and Clapham is the most popular. I have lived in a ex-council flat in Clapham which was full of gay flat shares of men my age. They all look the same and have the same lifestyle of going out, sleeping around and unable to hold down relationships. Gaydar and Grindr are full of the same men and plenty of them.
Having lived this lifestyle, you end up paying a lot for generally run down properties in crime ridden areas. The attitude of some of my friends implies that I can not live a fully gay life style if I do not surround myself with gay men. This is quite stupid as I can get to the gay villages of Soho, Vauxhall and Clapham within half an hour. The reality is it is because I cannot get on the northern line within 3 minutes to pick up a shag.
I think this is taking living a 'gay London life style' a bit too far. For any single gay man looking to relocate to London, do not fall into the trap of living just to where Grindr is busiest. The reality is London has so much to offer and do not allow the scene or Grindr hotspots dictate where you live! Find an area that you love like I have!
This is it. A job offer in London confirmed this week. This is not just to keep my brain active and get me earning again. It is a chance to start a new chapter in my life.
I had the best time of my life, I had the worse time of my life when I last lived in London. It helped me discover myself and I had great nights out. But I got myself in debt because I was not looking after myself. I was chasing a body fascist circuit boy culture and I was lonely.
I left London to take up an exciting contract in the Midlands. I needed to get out to work out what I wanted in life. The Midlands did not treat me well. I drank even more and was even more lonely. However, I kind of got myself together and joined a few LGBT social groups. I started to meet new and different people away from the scene. I think this has made me stronger and help me decide what I want in life.
With help from my parents, I am going to decide to not move back to the gay ghetto of South West London and head towards the docks. I will still have access to the scene but will not need to live by it. There are a number of things I am going to have to deal with.
1) Start getting out of debt. I have a large credit card debt that I need to tackle by dealing with it sensibly.
2) Make more of my friends. I lived too much for the scene but I realised I missed a lot of London.
3) Get back into strength training and throwing
4) Look into seeing a therapist
I think once I have stability I will emotionally move on and be happier but there is a lot of effort on my part. Who knows, I may even have a chance of a relationship.
It is now time to start living and stop reflecting!
