Gay Post Code Wars

Finally! I have found a lovely flat in South East London which I move in tomorrow. It has lovely views of a dock, in Zone 2, walking distance to a tube and easy to get to both work and central London. Could not be happier.

On the announcement of the news on Facebook, my close friends were excited for my return. However, a few friends of friends responded with messages asking why I was living so far out of central London.

Now, for those who have never lived in London, there are pockets of gay ghettoes. North London is stereotypically for couple with money and Shoreditch is for the skinny jeans wearing, 'arty' types. For my 'sub culture' - i.e. 30s muscle/bear type not on a great income, South London is the place to be.

In particular, anywhere on the Northern Line between Kennington and Clapham is the most popular. I have lived in a ex-council flat in Clapham which was full of gay flat shares of men my age. They all look the same and have the same lifestyle of going out, sleeping around and unable to hold down relationships. Gaydar and Grindr are full of the same men and plenty of them.

Having lived this lifestyle, you end up paying a lot for generally run down properties in crime ridden areas. The attitude of some of my friends implies that I can not live a fully gay life style if I do not surround myself with gay men. This is quite stupid as I can get to the gay villages of Soho, Vauxhall and Clapham within half an hour. The reality is it is because I cannot get on the northern line within 3 minutes to pick up a shag.

I think this is taking living a 'gay London life style' a bit too far. For any single gay man looking to relocate to London, do not fall into the trap of living just to where Grindr is busiest. The reality is London has so much to offer and do not allow the scene or Grindr hotspots dictate where you live! Find an area that you love like I have!

London

This is it. A job offer in London confirmed this week. This is not just to keep my brain active and get me earning again. It is a chance to start a new chapter in my life.

I had the best time of my life, I had the worse time of my life when I last lived in London. It helped me discover myself and I had great nights out. But I got myself in debt because I was not looking after myself. I was chasing a body fascist circuit boy culture and I was lonely.

I left London to take up an exciting contract in the Midlands. I needed to get out to work out what I wanted in life. The Midlands did not treat me well. I drank even more and was even more lonely. However, I kind of got myself together and joined a few LGBT social groups. I started to meet new and different people away from the scene. I think this has made me stronger and help me decide what I want in life.

With help from my parents, I am going to decide to not move back to the gay ghetto of South West London and head towards the docks. I will still have access to the scene but will not need to live by it. There are a number of things I am going to have to deal with.

1) Start getting out of debt. I have a large credit card debt that I need to tackle by dealing with it sensibly.
2) Make more of my friends. I lived too much for the scene but I realised I missed a lot of London.
3) Get back into strength training and throwing
4) Look into seeing a therapist

I think once I have stability I will emotionally move on and be happier but there is a lot of effort on my part. Who knows, I may even have a chance of a relationship.

It is now time to start living and stop reflecting!